Upon Finding That She Is Barren

by Nichole Riggs

p. 21, Issue 01

did you know i’ve killed thirty cockroaches today? they’ve begun a large family in the bathroom pipes, with beautiful children all named Matthew and Matilda, and before that final shoe-blow i could hear them whispering God is great, God is great, he has blessed us with plenty—did you know in Buddhism, they believe you will reincarnate into whatever it is you kill? i wonder, when the cockroaches say God if they are talking about me? the provider of rotting cheese, the annihilator. mommy and daddy touched antennas before the insectocide, and said I love you darling, we’ve had a great life together… then I swept up their crunchy carcasses—i poured a gallon of bleach down each drain and wiped away the babies’ rooms from under the kitchen sink. everything in the house scoured, scorched—clean. clean.

It's the surrealism in this piece that makes it so powerful; the hyper-personification of the cockroaches gives us insight into how the speaker is feeling, although she never voices her emotions directly. I also love how the piece only really makes sense with the title, which in six words sets the emotional context of the slightly nonsensical and hysterical musings that follow.

Anna Leader, Executive Art Editor

It takes Nichole Riggs only 144 words to tell us a story whose lines stayed in my head for days. I see a lot of stories that can't do that in 1,000 words. Upon Finding was the icing to our cake, and the extra icing from your cousin who doesn't like icing's piece of cake.

Keri Karandrakis, Editor in Chief